The Path of the Mother
Yoga attracted me because it made sense in a scientific, logical way: You do this - you get this result - don't take our word for it - try it for yourself! I loved that Yoga provided a path for every personality type. If you sought the Ultimate in an intellectual way as I did, then Jnana Yoga was for you, Raja Yoga for those who are attracted to disciplined meditation, Karma Yoga for those attracted to selfless service, etc. The only path with which I did not resonate was Bhakti Yoga - the Yoga of Devotion.
As a true child of this scientific age, God to me was an intellectual concept. One of the attractions of the yogic path was that it does not pre-suppose a certain image of the Divine. Thinking of God as formless, non- or composite-gendered, and beyond our ability of conception made me comfortable, if not intimate, with God. Then, something changed. I shifted from thinking about God to experiencing an overwhelming feeling of longing for God.
This yearning had been there all along, but as I acknowledged the feeling (and, not so coincidentally, acknowledged other feelings at the same time), it became more prevalent. Although I have tried, it is really quite difficult to feel love for the formless void! I needed an object for my outpouring of longing and love - one that did not feel imposed, but to which my mind could latch onto until such a time as I may be blessed to experience That Which Is.
It was almost three years ago when I met the two Ammas (Mothers) who would open my heart to the concept of Mother as God. I began to receive a yearly darshan (literally "vision" but more generally, being blessed by the physical presence of a Master) from Sri Vijayeswari Devi (known as Karunamayi-ma or simply Amma). This wonderful Amma is said to embody the Saraswati aspect of the Divine Mother and I have begun to learn about puja (ritual worship) and mantras from her teaching and writings.
The same year, I also received my first darshan from Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, familiarly known as Ammachi or The Hugging Saint as her blessing is in the form of a hug. Although making no claims herself, her devotees cite Ammachi as a Sat-Guru (Self-Realized Master), and an Avatar whom some say embodies the Kali aspect of the Divine Mother. Ammachi has personally hugged over 21 million people in the past 30 years and her life is a testament to her teaching on selfless service.
Although Ammachi only speaks her native Malayalam, in my recent experience with her, she displayed her fluency with the language of the heart. As I was in her arms, I silently prayed to her (in English!) to please help me, as I was such an ass [when trying to be consistent between what I believe and how I sometimes act]. Mid-hug, she laughed heartily and gave me a big kiss on the cheek! I cried joyfully as I felt the intense comfort and love that Ammachi’s presence generates.
Both Amma and Ammachi ask us to call out to the Divine Mother as you did as a young child for your Mother when you were hurt or scared. Ammachi says, “…Children, did not Mother come when you called? Thus did she not obey you? (1)” Even those who have had a contentious relationship with their mother can seek in the Universal Mother the supreme example of love, forgiveness and patience, to heal the wounds sustained in the human relationship.
As a devotional practice, I have been learning Sanskrit prayers to the Mother, in particular the Samputita Sri Suktam and the Sri Lalita Sahasranama (The Thousand Names of the Divine Mother). These are daunting tasks which have placed me firmly in the role of “rank beginner” – a place from which experience has shown to be both the most challenging and with effort, the most rewarding.
Emerging from the murky backwaters which have been the repository of my emotional life, I look forward to plunging the depths available in the clear, blue ocean of Amma!! I wonder that I feel no conflict with this devotional attitude and my search for “knowledge.” But, as my beloved Ammachi writes: “Bhakti is not different from jnana (knowledge). Real devotion is itself wisdom. (2)”
How blessed am I that Yoga is flexible enough to accommodate the burgeoning feelings in my heart and provide the Bhakti path to follow; and…how very logical!
---------------------References… -----------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) Bess, Savitri L., (2002). The Path of the Mother., p. 167. New York: Ballantine Wellspring.
(2) Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. Devotion. http://www.amritapuri.org/teachings/qualities/devotion.php Retrieved from: http://www.amritapuri.org/ on August 5th, 2005.
-------------------…and, Recommendations-----------------------------------------------------------
Books:
Paramahansa Yogananda, (1994): Autobiography of a Yogi. Self-Realization Fellowship Publishers. This book opened me to the real possibility that miracles happen.
Swami Ramakrishnananda Puri (2003) . Racing along the razor’s edge. San Ramon, Ca: Mata Amritanandamayi Center. Life with Ammachi from one of her earliest devotees.
Websites:
www.amma.org Ammachi embraces technology and it shows in this comprehensive, frequently updated website containing her life story, teachings, charitable institutions, volunteer opportunities, marketplace, and much more.
www.karunamayi.org Amma’s life-story, teachings and charitable institutions are well represented on this site,which has just been revamped. Amma’s commentary on aspects of the Vedas is illuminating!